Change would do me right
by Gertrud
Summary: About Ryan and Marissa future as a married couple with kids and about what happens when one more joins their family. Might be a bit confusing but after first 3 chapters you'll understand.
1. Chapter 1 beer and beating

**Chapter 1: BEER AND BEATING**

"Alison could you get me a glass of water before you go?"

"Yeah" Alison took one more look in the mirror. She'd covered the blue area around her eye the best she could, but it wasn't quite enough but it didn't matter. Everybody get a blue eye from time to time. She went out of the bathroom, into the kitchen, got a glass and filled it with water. Her mom was lying on the cough in the living room. Her beautiful black hair had almost gotten 5 cm again. Alison looked at her mom and thought how young she actually was but how old she looked.

"Thanks. Ready for school" It was more a conclusion than a question and Alison nodded. "I'll see you later then. Remember to pick up my medicine on your way home." Alison gave a little smile and walked towards the door. Just as she was opening it her dad came into the living room. Alison only hesitated one second but she knew that that would take the first lesson, probably the entire day.

"Hey you get in here again or I'll come and get you" her dad sat down in the couch pushing her mom to the site. There was no escape now, so she closed the door and walked back into the room.

"Am I gonna die of thirst before you'll get me a beer" Her dad didn't look at her while saying this but turned on the TV. He got fired around a month ago and of cause these "free days" would be a drinking and watching TV only interrupted by him beating Alison and her mom. Quickly she got him the beer and placed it on the table in front of him.

"What date is it today?" His eyes were on the TV but Alison knew that he followed every step she took.

"It's the 1st of March" It was Alison's mom answering him. "I asked Alison to get my medicine on her way back from school." Her voice was quiet and low indicating that she feared what was about to happen. A hand hit her on her left cheek. Alison relaxed a bit; it was not one of his bad days. On a bad day he would beat her mom until she was unconscious or Alison stepped in to take the beating instead.

"Get your mom a beer. That's the best medicine." Alison obeyed even though she knew that this would end in them both being drunk and her getting beaten up. She would get beaten up anyway, so why not get over and done with.

"Thanks sweetie" Her moms voice was very quiet. Her eyes looked at Alison and said "sorry". Alison went back into the kitchen and waited for the next order for a beer, and the next and the next.

"Shit woman. Don't you have eyes? Your poring beer on the floor." He screamed and Alison heard the sound of a fist hitting a target. She looked in and saw her mom lying on the floor with her eyes closed, her face twisted in pain. Alison couldn't stand to she her in pain, she had to turn the heat from her mom.

"Hey get of her. She's not well" Alison's voice shacked as she spoke but it worked. Her dad turned around and went for her. Even after Alison couldn't stand anymore he kept on kicking her in the stomach, the face, everywhere. Then she heard him leave. Still lying on the floor she pulled her legs up to her face. Tires were running down her face then everything turned dark. Hours later she woke up. It was dark but there were no sound, so _he_ was not back yet. It was the first, meaning money, what did she expect? He was probably on a bar drinking. She tried opening her eyes but a sharp pain ran through her head and she closed them tied. Alison been here before and she knew one thing that would help to make the pain disappear. Her thoughts went back to her 10th birthday. The best day of her life. Her mom was there, not sick, not beaten up, happy and beautiful. Her grandmom and her uncle were there too. Her mom had been cooking all day to get the food ready. He dad wasn't there to ruin it. He was in jail but only for four more days. Alison's fingers found the necklace hanging around her neck. She'd gotten it that day. It was a gift from her grandmom and uncle. Alison tried to open her eyes again. Now her grandmom was dead, her uncle in jail on lifetime and her mom sick. Her mom! What happened to her? Alison slowly sat up, everything hurted, she got nausea and felt how her body tried to get everything from her stomach up. With a had over her mouth she slowly tried to get up, desperate looking for something to throw up in. Her eyes felt on a body lying on the floor. _Mom!_ Alison moved as quickly as it was possible over to her mom. She was lying very still. There was no pain in the face; she looked so peaceful, if you didn't look at the blue and black marks on her body. Alison got up and stumbled into the kitchen where she managed to hit the sink as she threw up. Slowly she looked up from the sink and looked at the lifeless body. Tires ran down Alison's face as she realised that her mom was dead. Her head was acing and her legs disappeared under her. She crawled to the phone and called 911.

She was there when the police and the ambulance came. A policeman told her that she had to go with them to the hospital and then to the police station, did she have a key so the door could get locked? Alison found it in her pocket and locked the door and slowly on shaky legs followed him.

"Who beated you?"

"Is that your mother?"

"Where were you?"

"What happened?" Questions were fired at her and it made her head hurt even more.

It took all night for the police to find her dad and after that the question was what to do with the 14-year-old girl, who's mother just died.


	2. Chapter 2 The surprise

**Chapter 2: THE SURPRISE**

"Jack! You're gonna be late for school if you don't come down now." Marissa shouted up the stairs and returned to the kitchen where her youngest child Christopher was eating cereals with his dad.

"Hard to get him up huh" Ryan smiled at Marissa. They had been married now for 6 years. They had two boys, Jack 7 years and Christopher 5. Marissa returned hiss smile. Finally Jack appeared, his blond hair was a mess and he was still in his pyjama. Marissa gave Ryan an "I give up" look.

"Good morning. Are you planning on going to school in that clothes?" Ryan gave Jack a serious look. "Summer's gonna be here in 10 min to pick you two up and you better be ready or she'll have a rage black out!" Jack's eyes got big and without saying a word he walked out of the kitchen and back up the stairs. Even though he'd never experienced one of Summer's rage black outs he knew he didn't want to. Uncle Seth had told him about them and that was enough. 5 minutes later he reappeared in the kitchen now dressed and with okay looking hair. Marissa walked over to Ryan and whispered in his ear, "I'm impressed. Maybe you could get him to go to bed tonight as well so we could get some alone time?" She leaned over and kissed him and he whispered back, "anything to be alone with you".

"Hallo anybody here" Summer's voice interrupted them and they broke apart. Jack and Christopher got up, graped their bags and want out the door. Ryan and Marissa followed them to the front door where Summer was waiting.

"Have a nice day you two!" Marissa gave both of the boys a kiss even though Jack tried to avoid it while saying "Mom, Jessie is looking!" Summer smiled and walking over to the car se said, "Chino, make sure she'll get to work in time or I'll kill you"

"Don't worry I gotta go now anyway" Ryan answered just before Summer closed the cardoor.

"When is it you have to be at work?" Marissa said closing the door and walking over to Ryan and started to kiss him. He laughed, "Now" and kissed her back. "I got a meeting the workers and then one with Sandy about a new project. Besides Summer would kill me if I kept you here for much longer. But how about tonight?"

"You're turning me down for a meeting with some workers and Sandy and the fear of Summer?" She released herself from his arms and played insulted. Catching her again, holding her close Ryan said, "Tonight I promise" and with one more kiss he walked out the door. Marissa smiled and walked up the stairs she had to get herself ready or she'd be late.

"Hey. Did you get to an agreement with the workers?" Sandy looked at Ryan, who'd just entered the office. "

"Yeah it should be okay now" He smiled. That deal had taken a long time to negotiate and it was nice that it finally started to look like it was going to work out.

"By the way Kirsten wanted to invite you, Marissa, the boys and Seth, Summer and the twins to dinner to morrow evening. How does that sound?"

"sounds great but I have to…" Ryan got interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Sorry to disturb you Mr. Cohen. But there is a Mr. Greenfield who wants to talk to Mr. Atwood." Sandy's secretary looked from Sandy to Ryan and back to Sandy.

"Send him in" Sandy narrowed his eyes and looked at Ryan, "how do you know Pete Greenfield?"

"I don't. I have no idea what this's about" Just then a little, bold man entered the room.

"Well, if it isn't Sandy Cohen!" Pete smiled and greeted Sandy with a hand.

"Pete, what a surprise!" Sandy took Pete's hand and shook it.

Pete turned around and face Ryan.  
"Mr. Atwood I assume" once again he offered his hand and Ryan took it.

"Ryan Atwood"

"Is there somewhere we could talk in private?" Ryan was already confused but this made him even more confused. He'd thought this was something about work.

"What is this about? We can talk here. Sandy is my father" Ryan looked at Sandy to get some help explaining.

"Kirsten and I adopted Ryan years ago." Sandy explained.

"Oh, I see. Well, I'm afraid I bring bad news. Theresa ….. died yesterday." Pete stopped to give the information a chance to be understood. Ryan looked even more confused. He hadn't talked to Theresa since that night so many years ago in Chino. They'd lost contact and Ryan had a feeling that that was what Theresa wanted.

"But how? She was around 30?" Millions of thoughts were running through Ryan. Sandy looked shocked and confused. He looked at Ryan and saw the confusion and then sadness. She'd been his friend through bad times.

"She had cancer but that wasn't what killed her. She was beaten and the chemo made her body weak…" Pete stopped when he saw the awful mix of anger and sadness in Ryans eyes.

"Who beated her?" Ryan whispered the question. Sandy put his had on Ryans shoulder partly to calm him down partly to make Ryan aware that he was there.

"Her husband… uhmm, Eddie ….. The police captured him and he's being prosecuted" Ryan fell down in a chair. Chocked to hear Eddie mentioned. Eddie'd been Ryan's friend as well, but why would he beat Theresa to her death? And why would Theresa marry him?

"Mr. Atwood, I'm here because Theresa mentions you in her testimony. She left you this letter and in her will it's clear that she wished you to get custody over her daughter." Pete handed Ryan a letter. Ryan took it still in chock and overwhelmed with grief, questions and anger. He needed someone to help him. He didn't understand what was happening. Just then Sandy stepped closer to Ryan.

"Ryan?"

"I…. can you read it…" Ryan just held the letter out and Sandy took it, said "Sure kid" and opened it.


	3. Chapter 3 The letter

Change could do me right

**Chapter 3: THE LETTER**

""_Dear Ryan. _

_I'm sorry to disturb you now but I wouldn't do it if I didn't mean it was important. As you probably know by now I have cancer. It's going downhill quickly now. I can feel it in my body even though the doctors are trying to stay optimistic. I know your head is full of questions right now and I'll try to answer the once I imagine you have. As I told you in the phone, when I called you about me loosing the baby, you weren't happy with me. You finally got your life together and thing were looking up, you were in love but then I came and messed thing up between you and Marissa and the Cohens. When you went to see Seth I had a long talk with my mom. I told her you weren't happy and that you only stayed with me because of the baby. During the talk I realized what I was doing. I was taking away your chance of ever getting out of this shithole. I couldn't do that, Ryan, and the only way that you would leave was if I lost the baby; so that was what I told you. However, I didn't lose the baby. After some month away from Chino I realized that I couldn't do this on my own. I needed someone who could earn some money and help me with the baby, so I married Eddie. He thought the baby was his and I never told him it wasn't. We got married in November and Alison was born in February. Do you remember our talk about names? You said that you always thought Alison was such a pretty and strong name…Eddie hated the name just as he hated Alison. I think Eddie knew that she was yours… she has your eyes… blue and more talkative than the mouth. Neither Eddie or I have blue eyes, so I guess you don't have to be a genius to figure that she's not Eddies. _

_It wasn't until she was 4 he started to be hard on her if she did something wrong. I never liked it and that created… well conflicts and you know how Eddie handles those. I managed to keep her away from Eddie as much as it was possible. My mom was a huge help! Eddie got arrested for drug dealing when Alison was 8 and got 2 years in prison. The first year was horrible I could hardly manage to earn enough money for food, but Alison started to work (I know you shouldn't have to work when your 8, but it's better than starving!) in a dinner, washing the dishes. She gave me all the money and we made hands meet. My mom help a lot as well. Eddie got out of prison and Autor got in… he drank too much one evening and drove home, but ended up driving a kid over and killing it. My mom was heartbroken and I think that was what killed her. No one knows why but one day she just died. Eddie'd only been out for 1 month when she was buried. He changed a lot in prison and started to drink a lot… he couldn't get a job for a long time so he drank instead… Alison was afraid of him…If I'd known he would end up beating me and her every day I would never have married him… I thought about running away with Alison but where would I go? And then I found out that I had cancer. They wouldn't treat me at first because I couldn't pay, but I used the money I'd gotten from my mom and paid for the treatment without Eddie knowing he would have killed me before I would get any treatment… Alison thinks I haven't noticed but I have, that she more and more often takes hard beating from Eddie to protect me. _

_My life didn't turn out the way I wanted it to but I tried my best… I know I failed when it comes to Alison but I know that I did the right thing in letting you go! I would never ask you to take Alison into your family (I learned that you and Marissa got married and have two kids! Congrates!) but I would like you to make sure that she doesn't stay with Eddie… he'll end up killing her. Could you just make sure that child service takes care of her? I leave that in your hands 'cause there's no one else I trust more! Thank you, Ryan, for everything you've done for me and for giving me Alison, she's a strong and good kid!_

_With all my love_

_Your friend_

_Theresa"_"

Ryan had been sitting quite and listened while Sandy had read aloud but now he got up and went over to Sandy who gave him the letter. Ryan looked at it in disbelieve. He had a daughter on 14 he'd never meet. Sadness overwhelmed him as he looked at the handwriting.

"Where is she?"

"She's in my office… sleeping. She was beaten up pretty bad and the police have been questioning her throughout the night" Pete looked at his hands. The letter had been very personal and it was not meant to be shared with a lawyer.

"What do you want to do Ryan" Sandy's question was clear and simple and Ryan knew that he could never give his daughter to child service.

"I'm going to take the rest of the day off and take her home and let her sleep in a real bed" He was still looking at the letter.

"I'm going with you… nothing to do here and a lawyer could come in handy" Sandy said this while walking towards the door.

You know the drill r+r! It make my day!


	4. Chapter 4 Alison

Thanks for all the reviews – they really make my day, so keep on reviewing! Here's another chater. Hope you like it!

Ok, so I forgot to disclaim, so here I go: NON OF THE CHARACTERS BELONG TO ME(I WISH THEY DID, BUT NO) BESIDE ALISON.

**Chapter 4: ALISON**

Alison was lying on a bench in Pete's office. She'd tried to sleep but it was too uncomfortable, her body was acing, her head exploding and a lot was going around in her head. The letter from her mom. Alison had always known that Eddie wasn't her real dad but her mom never told her anything about her real dad – or at least she hadn't thought so, but in her letter she wrote that this Mr. Ryan Atwood was her biological farther. She'd heard a lot about Ryan, her mom's big love and close friend. Alison turned so she was lying on her back. So this Ryan was going to make sure that she was going to a good foster family. Alison knew about foster families and she knew that most foster families didn't want kids over 8, so her chances were not very good. Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door and then it was opened. Pete came in and right behind him a tall, middle age man with dark hair and behind him a younger man with blond hair.

Ryan looked at the girl sitting on the bench. Her eyes were swollen and blue, the part of the actual eye that is suppose to be white was red from lack of sleep and from crying. Her hair was shoulder long and black just like Theresa's. Ryan walked over so he stood in front of her. She looked down and then again up at Ryan.

"I'm Ryan Atwood" He didn't know what else to say. Alison stood up but her legs disappeared under her, her head acted and the ribs hurted like hell. Alison sank down on the bench again with an "aww". Ryan automatically stepped forward so he was prepared to catch her. He looked worried at the girl. It was clear she was in pain.

"Have you been at the hospital? Did they examine you?"

"Yeah"

"and.." Alison looked up and put forth the hand

"I'm Alison" Ryan smiled his half smile, took the hand and said,

"Nice to meet you. Sorry about your mom" at the mentioning of her mom Alison let go of his hand, looked down and said,

"It's fine." Alison had quickly learned that if she said it was fine people would stop asking. However, she felt she had to say something more, so she continues, "They didn't examine me at the hospital but I'm fine, just tired." Ryan looked at Alison, she surly was strong.

"Ok, but I'd like us to go to the hospital before we go to my place so you can get some sleep." It wasn't a question, just the fact what was going to happen and Alison didn't have the energy to fight anymore so she tried once again to get up, but this time much slower. Once she was up she followed after Ryan out of the office. The tall dark haired man said goodbye to Pete and walked after them. As they got into the car Ryan noticed how tense Alison seemed but it was no wonder considering what she just went through. Sandy got into the car on the drivers seat and turned around and faced Alison on the backseat.

"I'm Sandy Cohen. Nice to meet you" Alison looked confused from Ryan to Sandy. Sandy saw it and continued

"Me and my wife adopted Ryan when he was 17"

"Oh" Alison didn't say any more the rest of the drive to the hospital. Sandy looked over at Ryan from time to time. Ryan too sat in silence sometimes his eyes looked in the mirror to look at the girl in the backseat. Alison was almost sleeping when they got to the hospital but was right awake when the car stopped. Sandy had called the doctor from the car and made sure that they could go right in without having to wait.

"Hallo Sandy. What can I do for you?"

"Hi Tom. This is Alison I think I would be good if you could just check if there's any serious damages" Sandy pointed at Alison. The doctor's eyes looked at the girl in surprise.

"I'm doctor Leeson"

"Alison" Again only saying as little as possible.

"I guess we'll wait outside." Sandy and Ryan left the room closing the door behind them.

10 min later Doctor Leeson opened the door and asked Sandy and Ryan to come in. Alison sat in a chair.

"She got a mild concussion so she'll need plenty of rest for a couple of days. There 2 broken ribs and a lot of blue marks but that'll be fine in time. Just rest for some days. The ribs will take a little longer to heal and they will hurt a lot." They left the hospital and Sandy drove them to Ryan's house. Ryan showed Alison the guestroom and she went to sleep.

"So I guess you're taking the rest of the day off?" Sandy was sitting in the living room.

"Yeah and tomorrow if that's alright. I need to call Marissa…" Sandy nodded, said goodbye and went out the door. Ryan picked up the phone. He had no idea how he was going to explain all this to Marissa but he needed her home right now.

"Coop and Cohen. Marissa speaking"

"Hey Marissa"

"Ryan?"

"Yeah, could you come home now? I need to talk to you!" Marissa could hear something was wrong and she'd learned not to question him in situations like this, so all she said was "I'll be home in half an hour."

Ryan walked back to the guestroom and looked in. Alison was fast asleep. He pictures Theresa. It was so long since he'd seen her but her death hurted him. She'd been his friend through rough and bad times. He stood there thinking until he heard a car stop and the front door open. He closed the door and went out to welcome his wife.

"Hi. You ok?" Marissa looked concerned at Ryan. He'd never called her and asked her to come home right away before, this had to be serious.

"Yeah but uhhh Theresa's dead" Ryan looked down he didn't know how to go on he just found the letter in his pocket and handled it to Marissa, who choked took it. "But how?" she didn't know what to say. Marissa hadn't thought that Ryan and Theresa were still speaking but how else would he know.

"Just read the letter… I'll try to explain after…" Ryan walked into the living room and sat down. Marissa followed him, sat down beside him and started to read. She read it all and then laid it on the table.

"So you've got a daughter?"

"I guess so"

"Where is she?

"She's sleeping in the guestroom"

"She's here?" Marissa was still in chock and got even more chocked about this Alison being in her house.

"So Theresa died of cancer?" Marissa looked out in the air, she was confused and didn't know what else to say even though this was clear from the letter.

"No she didn't die of cancer. Eddie beated her and Alison. Alison got unconscious… Theresa was dead when Alison woke up…" Marissa quickly turned her head to look at Ryan. She saw the pain, anger, and sorrow in his eyes. She took a deep breath and asked the question she already knew the answer to.

"What are you going to do?" Ryan looked up and meet Marissa's eyes.

"I could never give her to child service. That place is hell. She's my daughter and I don't even know her!" Ryan continued looking at Marissa. His eyes showed frustration, sadness, confusion and a prayer for her to understand.

"You want her to live with us" Marissa concluded dryly but continued

"Ryan, I understand that you didn't know anything about her. I understand that you want to know her and of cause she can stay with us but understand that I might be having a hard time in the beginning" Ryan nodded, leaned forward and kissed her.

"I love you" He looked her straight in her eyes as he said that. She still saw frustration and sadness in his eyes but now there was also thankfulness and love – love for her. She smiled remembering the first time she said those words to him

"Thank you" Ryan gave a little laugh and stood up. "Now we just need to tell the boys and everybody else."

"Yeah but how about we tell all of them at the same time. I'll call Kirsten and Summer now to invite all of them for dinner and then we'll tell them all at one time"

"Yeah that would work but maybe Alison will be awake at that time then we won't get the change to tell them before they meet her."

"Then we'll eat at Kirsten and Sandy's and you'll tell them and call me once you guys have talked things through and I'll come with Alison. This would also give me the chance to see and talk to her before she meets everyone else."

"Yeah that would work. Could you call Summer. I'll call Kirsten and tell we're all coming tonight instead of tomorrow." Marissa smiled but felt a bit disappointed. Tonight was supposed to be only her and Ryan. Ryan continued as if he could read her thoughts

"We'll have a evening where it's just to two of us soon! I promise!" He smiled took his cell phone and dialled Kirsten's number.


	5. Chapter 5 Meeting the family

Sorry for not updating earlier, but my internet's been kinda weird! But now it's here –

Chapter 5: MEETING THE FAMILY

Alison didn't wake up until late that afternoon and Ryan had already left for Sandy and Kirsten's with the two boys. Marissa looked at the clock; they'd been gone for an hour now and she was ready to leave. Suddenly she heard a sound behind her and she turned around, knowing that Alison was awake. For a moment Marissa just looked at the girl. At first sight, she didn't look like Ryan. Her hair was long and black and it instantly made Marissa think of Theresa, but when Marissa stopped looking at the bruises around her eyes and looked into her eyes she saw the same calm and mysterious blue eyes, which had made her fall for Ryan all those years ago.

So this was how Marissa Cooper looked like in real life. Alison's mom hadn't told her a lot about Marissa but she had told her that Marissa Cooper was intimidating beautiful. Alison couldn't agree more to that statement and as Marissa just continued to stare at her she felt like she was naked. She saw how Marissa's eyes stopped at every visible bruise and she hated it and just wanted to turn around and run away. And just as she was about to do so, Marissa stepped forward and said:

"I'm Marissa Cooper Atwood Cohen" Marissa had chosen to keep her girl name but take both of Ryan's surnames. Alison nodded and answered:

"Alison… but you probably already know that" She gave Marissa a little smile. Alison felt safer around women and Marissa's eyes weren't unfriendly or threatening. Alison couldn't say why, but she liked Marissa.

"Uhm, Ryan took the boys over to Kirsten and Sandy. We're going to eat with them today… we do that sometimes." Marissa didn't know what else to say to the girl.

"A perfect opportunity for him to warn them about me" Alison kept looking at Marissa who gave her a little smile and said:

"that too" Then it suddenly hit Marissa that Alison didn't even know that they'd decided that she was going to stay with them.

"Ryan and I were talking earlier and we want you to stay… here with us form now on…" Alison looked away and spoke in a quiet voice:

"You don't have to do that… I mean he got you and two other kids and he never knew about me…mom just asked him to make sure child service would treat me correctly…"

"You don't know Ryan very well. He grew up with a father in prison and a mother who was addicted to alcohol. He promised himself that his children would never go through anything like that… he was almost send to child service and he know that that place is like hell he could never send you there. Besides you ARE his daughter and he does have a right to know you just as well as you have a right to know him. Give him a chance" Marissa suddenly realized what she'd said and bit her lip. Maybe she'd told Alison too much but all of it was true and she meant it. She looked away and then back at Alison. Alison's eyes were red and a single tear rolled down her cheek. Instinctively Marissa opened her arms and wrapped them around her. At first Alison was very tense but soon she loosened up and Marissa could feel how she started to relax. They stood there for a while until Marissa's cell phone started to ring and caused Alison to pull back and whip her tears away with her hands.

"Hallo?"

"Oh, hey. Yeah we'll come over in a minute." Marissa closed her cell and looked at Alison.

"It was Ryan. They're waiting for us… do you want to change you clothes before we go?" Alison looked down herself and realized that she was still wearing the clothes she had been beaten up in, so there were red bloodstains on the shirt and the jeans were dirty.

"I don't have… uhm... clothes to change… I didn't get a chance to pack…"

"Just give me a sec I'll find something you can borrow from me" Marissa went out of the kitchen and Alison stood left alone but not for long.

After she'd changed, she and Marissa walked the short distance over to the Cohen's house. Ryan and Marissa had decided to buy a house close to Kirsten and Sandy because they liked to be able to visit them whenever they wanted to and when Seth and Summer had also bought a house close to it, it had got even better. They were able to help each other with a lot of things for example babysitting. Alison's head was hurting and her legs were tired and sore. To get her mind on something else she started to look at the big houses they passed and after 2 minutes walk they stood in front of a huge mansion.

"Here we are" Marissa walked up to the door and knocked. Alison stayed in the background because she didn't know anybody here. She'd just meet Marissa, talked 3 sentences (at the most) with Sandy and you couldn't really say she knew Ryan either. Ryan opened the door.

"There you are. We've been waiting" He gave Marissa a kiss and smiled at Alison as they went inside. He led them through a living room and into a big kitchen where a lot of people were gathered. A not very tall, dark haired woman walked over to Marissa and gave her a hug. Then she gave Alison a smile

"You must be Alison. I'm Summer" Alison took the hand Summer offered. Ryan was about to say something but Kirsten was faster and went over to Alison and presented herself. Seth was the next one to stand up and say hallo. Then Ryan took over and went over to Jack and Christopher.

"These are Marissa and my sons. This is Christopher and this is Jack." The two boys just looked at Alison without saying a word and Ryan was about to continue to present Summer and Seth's children but Seth just started speaking.

"These two are my and Summer's kids. This guy here is Caleb and the girl there is Debbie. We named them after our grandparents because Summer wouldn't agree to name them after graphic novel characters… Aww why did you hit me?"

"Cohen, my children are not going to be named after some lame comic book figure"

"Summer, they're graphic novels and there're a lot of good strong names there!" Sandy laughed a little, interrupting their little argument.

"I can't believe you two are still discussing that! How about we get some food before anyone dies of hunger?"

"Great idea!" Kirsten went over to the kitchen table and started to put the food on the table. Summer sat down at one side of the twins and Seth sat at the other side. Marissa placed herself next to Summer and Ryan beside her. Jack and Christopher sat next to Seth. Ryan looked at Alison who stood in the middle of the kitchen, unsure of what to do.

"Alison why don't you sit here next to me" Ryan made a gesture with his hand towards the empty chair next to him. There wasn't a lot of talk around the table during the meal. Sandy or Kirsten tried a couple of times to get Alison to say something but her answers were as short as possible. One of the times Alison just answered very short, Seth said:

"Wow, you really are Ryan's daughter" Alison didn't understand this comment but Sandy and Kirsten gave Seth the "shut up" look. "I'm just trying to make conversation." Seth replied defend ably.

"So you're our sister now?" Christopher said after some time, looking intensely at Alison. Jack elbowed him in the side. "Aww, mom Jack just..." "Yeah I saw" Marissa looked at Jack who avoided her glance.

"This is a really nice house Mrs. And Mr Cohen" Alison decided she had to try to make some conversation. "It's Kirsten and Sandy and yes we like it very much" Kirsten answered, glad that the girl finally said something. The rest of the dinner Seth and Summer made conversation by discussing some silly things to avoid the uncomfortable silence. After dinner the children went outside to play, Seth, Summer, Sandy and Marissa sat down on the couches in the den and Kirsten and Ryan started to clean up after dinner. Alison helped a bit but mostly she felt like being in the way. She didn't know where everything was supposed to be, so she ended up putting dirty dishes in the dishwasher.

"You want to see the rest of the house?" Ryan asked, trying to get Alison to feel more comfortable; he knew how she felt. Alison nodded even though her head was pounding, her ribs killing her and her legs almost disappeared under her every time she moved. Ryan opened the door leading out the pool and pool house. Alison stopped.

"I know… you've never seen anything like this before… I felt the same way the first time I saw it" Ryan grinned and walked over to the pool house.

"This was my "room" until me and Marissa got our own", he said as he opened the door and let Alison look inside.

"Wow, this is bigger than the house we lived in…" Alison realized what she'd said and bit her lip. They continued the tour and ended in the living room where the others were talking, while the children were playing in the kitchen.

"Hey man did you show her all of Newport?" Seth smiled at Ryan.

"So do you still like the house Alison?" Kirsten asked again trying to get Alison to speak. "It's very…" Alison almost panicked; what should she say? "…big" It sounded wrong and wasn't the word she'd been looking for. Seth and Sandy laughed which made Alison smile a little. She tried to sit quietly down in a chair but her legs just got jell-o and she fell back in the chair, causing her ribs and head to hurt even more. She bit her teeth together to avoid screaming of pain and closed her eyes a second. When she opened them again she saw that everybody was looking at her.

"You.." Kirsten was interrupted by Jack, Christopher, Caleb and Debbie entering the room. The three boys pushed Debbie towards Alison.

"Why are you all black and blue in your face?" Debbie had been looking at the floor while speaking but now she looked up and her and the boys looked interested at Alison.

"Uhm…" was all Alison said before both Summer and Marissa angrily started to say something to the children.

"Sorry" Marissa, who'd just finished scolding, said to Alison.

"No, it's ok…" Alison had had some time to get over the surprising question and turned to look at Debbie and started speaking:

"I'm all blue and black in my face because some daddy's get angry very easily and instead of telling you what's wrong they hit you…" Alison bit her lip. She didn't know if it was a good enough answer but she didn't know what else to say. Debbie walked over to Seth and crawled up on his lap,

"Good my daddy isn't like that!" Debbie leaned into Seth chest and he stroked her hair. Alison smiled wishing it was her sitting on her dad's lap and him stroking her hair – like he actually cared about her. She looked over at Ryan where Christopher had followed Debbie's example and sat on Ryan's lap. Ryan met Alison's eyes and she looked away.

Within half an hour they decided it was time to go home. The children were tired and it was a school day tomorrow. As Alison watched Ryan carrying Christopher on his arm, holding Marissa's hand and her holding Jack's, she felt like an intruder. What was she doing here? She didn't belong here. So she walked very slowly behind and looked at the ground. There was some muffling in front of her and she saw Christopher walking towards her. He stopped in front of her and slowly he reached out and grabbed her hand with his, then he turned around and started to follow his parents, slowly.

So that's it for now, but don't worry more is coming! Please review – it gives me so much energy and I love to read what you think!

I'll try to update soon, but I have mocks in next week so I'm trying to read a bit for that ;-)


	6. Chapter 6 Home?

So here's finally an update. Sorry about the wait but I'm pretty busy with midterms, homework and a lot of deadlines!

Anyway I hope you like this chapter, so read, enjoy and please leave reviews it only take a couple of minutes and they really inspire me, so please please!

**Chapter 6: Home?**

Alison awoke by a woman's voice

"Jack you're gonna be late" Opening her eyes she remembered where she was. She slowly got out of bed. Her body was even sorer today – if that was possible. She put on the clothes she'd borrowed from Marissa the night before and made her way to the kitchen.

"Young man you're very late. I hate this fight about you getting out of bed!" Marissa turned around and saw Alison and got an apologizing look on her face. "I'm sorry Alison… he's just so difficult to get out of bed." Seconds later Jack entered with Ryan right behind him, pushing him forward. Marissa smiled at Ryan but didn't even look at Jack.

"I'll drive these two guys to school. Be back soon," Ryan mumbled apparently without noticing Alison.

"But I haven't eaten yet!"

"Then I guess you could get up when I ask you to or else there's no breakfast." Marissa turned around and looked out of the window.

"Come on Chris, say bye to mom." Ryan was already out of the door with Jack. Christopher jumped down from the chair and gave his mom a kiss. On his way out of the kitchen he stopped and looked at Alison

"You here when I'm home again?" he questioned her

"I'll be here"

"Good 'cause you need to see my room" then he left Marissa and Alison, who now had a little smile on her face. Somehow Christopher had managed to remember and thereby include her two times now.

"So, are you hungry?" Alison nodded.

"Well, we have cereals, bagels and coffee… don't know what you want…" Marissa picked up a mug of coffee and took a sip. Alison took some cereals and a mug of coffee. A smile was forming on Marissa's face and she could help but say.

"Wonder where you have that habit from" Alison looked confused at Marissa. What was she suppose to say? She felt she had to say something…

"Uhm, normally I don't really eat breakfast…" Marissa suddenly understood that Alison had no idea to what she was referring – how could she when she hadn't eaten breakfast with Ryan?

"It's just Ryan eats his cereals the same way… and always with a cup of coffee" Marissa kept her eyes on Alison while she tried to explain. Alison gave a half smile, just like Ryan did when he didn't really know what to say.

"So when Ryan gets back again we thought we could go and pick up your things..." _God, I wish Ryan was here!_ Marissa had no idea what else to say to Alison but she couldn't stand the uncomfortable silence. However, Marissa knew that it would be almost impossible to make small talk with Alison. Alison on the other hand didn't mind the silence, rather no talk than Marissa asking her questions. After what seemed an eternity to Marissa she heard a car drive up to the house, the front door open. Ryan appeared in the door to the kitchen.

"Good morning. How did you sleep?"

"fine…. Thanks"

"good, good…. Uh, Marissa and I thought we might go get your things and we need to sign some papers…" Again the half-smile appeared on Alison's face.

"sounds fine" _Can't you speak in hole sentences?_ Alison thought to herself. She wanted to tell Ryan and Marissa that she really appreciated what they were doing for her but she just couldn't get the words out.

"we also need to talk to a priest…" Ryan didn't really want to bring it up and when he saw the confused expression on Alison's face he quickly added,

"about Theresa's funeral…" Ryan couldn't tell what Alison thought. Her face didn't express neither sorrow nor happiness, she just nodded.

"I think I'll go get changed. It'll only take 10 min then we can go." Marissa left the kitchen and left Ryan and Alison alone. Ryan took a seat next to Alison.

"She should be buried next to grandmom." It came out of the blue and Ryan just nodded, it seemed reasonable.

"It's not going to be anything big…"Alison hadn't given the funeral a lot of thought but it wouldn't be right to make a big deal of it after all it wasn't unusual someone died in Chino.

"We just need to decide when..."

"How 'bout Thursday afternoon… that's two days from now…" Alison just wanted to get it over and done with. Everything was still like a dream, like she'd just gotten beaten up and was staying here for a couple of days.

"I'm ready to go…" Marissa called from the hall.

When they got to Chino Ryan asked Alison about the address. The neighbourhood got more and more poor and rough and the houses looked more and more like something no one could live in. As Ryan looked around memories came floating in over him. Nothing had changed here.

"It's here" Alison almost opened the door before the car held still. Alison walked up to the house followed closely by Ryan and a bit further behind him Marissa. Alison unlocked the door and as it opened it was like she woke up from her dream, she couldn't get herself to go inside that would make all that had happened real. Her head started to pound even harder as she stood there looking at the messy combined kitchen and living room. She realized that her mom would never come back. Memories of her 10th birthday came back, memories of how Theresa, before she got sick and when she was sober, would great her when she came home from school and just as Theresa was about to smile at Alison the picture of her dead face came. Alison felt dizzy and had to crib a hold in the doorframe but it was to late and she felt herself fall, all she could do was to wait for her body to collide with the ground.

Ryan saw her sway and stepped forward and caught her.

"You okay?" he asked while pulling her up on her feet again, but without letting go. Alison nodded but truth to be told she was far from okay. She felt sick, alone and all she could see was her mom's dead face. She stood for a moment trying to get a grip of herself, while Ryan exchanged a glance with Marissa. Just as he started to doubt if it'd been a good idea to go back again already Alison inhaled and stepped inside. She walked through the living room and kitchen without looking around and headed for her room.

Ryan and Marissa stayed in the living room and looked around. Marissa was in shock; she'd never been a place like this. The time where she had been living in a trailer with her mom and the Theresa's old home was nothing compared to this. How could anybody live like this? She looked at Ryan who had gone over to the kitchen and was looking at the notes on the fridge. Was this how it was like when he lived with Dawn? Marissa didn't know, they never talked about it, they never talked about his past and it occurred to her that there was so much she didn't know about his past. She walked over to him, took a look around the kitchen, all the dirty dishes, the full garbage bin, empty beer bottles. Her eyes fell on a bag lying on the floor. She bend down and looked inside it. It contained some paper, two books and a pen – Alison's schoolbag. But what was it doing there? She looked at Ryan who'd turned around and saw what she was looking at.

"She was on her way to school," he said dryly. Marissa's eyes got full of water, she tried to blink it away, but more came and tires started running down her face. Ryan bend down and put his arms around her. She led the tires run. Why was she crying? Of fear? No it wasn't fear, it was… just so unfair! She suddenly thought about Jack and Christopher… what if had been them?

"I know what you're thinking, but Jack and Chris will NEVER have to go through anything like this… it's unfair anybody have to…" Ryan was whispering it into Marissa's ear. There was so much hurt in his voice and Marissa didn't doubt the he was thinking back at his own childhood, she pulled away and saw the hurt in his eyes. He stood up and helped her up on her feet as well and started to read the notes again.

"Beer and medicine" it was written with Theresa's handwriting, he recognised it. Other notes like important numbers, names of people etc. was taking up almost all space on the fridge. On top of the fridge they found an old cookbook that Ryan believed to remember Theresa's mom always using. He quickly scanned through it and some pictures fell out. One of Theresa, Author, and their mom, a wedding picture of Eddie and Theresa, a picture of a baby with blue eyes and dark hair, Alison learning to walk, a picture of Theresa holding Alison, one with Author, Alison, Theresa and Theresa's mom. Marissa picked up the last picture, which was lying with its backside up, to see it. It was the one of Ryan and Theresa the winter before he left.

Alison closed the door behind her. She grabbed a bag pack with holes in and started tossing clothes into it. Only two other things were packed: a picture of Alison, Theresa, Author and grand mom at Alison's 10 years birthday and the old notebook Theresa had given Alison. Alison opened the door quietly and went into the bathroom and looked herself in the mirror. She looked like shit; almost her entire face was swollen. She took the little makeup she owned and started to cover the bruises as well as she could. The makeup and her toothbrush were added to the bag pack and she walked towards the kitchen, just wanting to leave the house as quick as possible. She stopped when she saw Ryan and Marissa standing with a book looking at some pieces of paper. They put the papers back and closed the book when she got closer and looked at her.

"My grandmoms cookbook…" Alison said and pointed at the book, not understanding what was so interesting about it.

"I know… she always used it when she was cooking…" Alison looked at Ryan in surprise.

"Yeah… mom wanted to keep it…" Alison continued pass Ryan and Marissa and opened one of the middle drawers, took some stuff out of it and picked up a book, which she put into her bag pack and then opened another drawer, again taking some stuff up before finding a book and putting it into the bag pack.

"You just take that book if you want it…" Alison looked at Ryan, who just nodded. Alison started walking towards the front door while saying "I have everything now"

So people please tell me what you think – it really makes my day!


	7. Chapter 7 Waking up

Okay so I'm sick and can't really get my brain to work, so I just wrote one more chapter – yay, a quick update! I'll try to update more regular from now on. Please leave reviews – You all know I love them!

**Chapter 7: Waking up**

Alison felt her head bang harder and harder on the drive back to Newport. She closed her eyes, hoping the headache would decrease. Unfortunately it didn't and she felt a wave of nauseas coming.

"Can you stop the car?" Ryan looked in the rear-view mirror and saw Alison's face get more and more white.

"Sure" He said it while pulling over. Alison was quickly out of the car but didn't get to walk many steps before she threw up while her legs disappeared under her, resulting in her landing on her knees and hands. Her stomach kept cramping, in the end there wasn't anything left, but her stomach kept cramping as if it wanted her to throw all her organs up as well.

Ryan and Marissa had been out of the car quickly. Marissa kept her distance but once Ryan saw Alison had nothing more to throw up he walked over to her.

Tears ran down her cheeks and her body tensed as she felt a hand on her shoulder. Forgetting all about where she was she expected to get more beating. Surprisingly the hand gently started rubbing her back and she saw a person kneel next to her.

He didn't say anything, felt her body tense when he put the hand on her shoulder and understood where she though she was. He just wanted to help make her feel better; he knew how she felt. He'd been beaten up badly too, he'd been left behind alone. Eventually her stomach accepted there wasn't more to throw up, tears were still running down her cheeks. Ryan slowly, so he wouldn't scare her, raped his arms around her. Again she tensed, she didn't remember the last time Theresa had hugged her. Suddenly she saw Eddie's face, heard him scream, she started to fight, she wanted to run but she was too tired. Ryan loosened his grip, tried to show her that he wasn't going to hurt her, but she didn't understand. Her stomach started to cramp again but nothing came up. Her eyes started to close and Ryan felt her body get relaxed, heard her breath become slower and he knew she was sleeping. Ryan looked up to find Marissa's eyes. She was on the opposite side of Alison also kneeling.

"We better get her home" Ryan nodded, got up on his feet while Marissa supported Alison. He carried her to the car and laid her on the backseat.

Marissa sat at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee when Ryan entered.

"She's sleeping?" Marissa asked, he just answered with a short nod, took a cup, purred coffee into it and sat down on the opposite side of the table. He looked beat and she reached over and put her hand on top of his. He just squeezed her hand still looking down.

"We have get hold of the priest. Alison suggested having the funeral on Thursday…" He said finally breaking the silence and he looked up.

"That sounds reasonable… " She got up and got the phone, got the number for the priest. Ryan didn't listen, until he heard,

"Could it be Thursday?... mmm, tomorrow? Yeah, good, thank you. Mmm, bye."

"I'll just call to get her death announcement in the newspaper" Marissa said while dialling up. Ryan got up and went outside and sat down in a chair.

"it's not like we haven't before… I've lost the baby, Ryan…. I don't want you to come back… you weren't happy with me…" His eyes closed. He remembered her voice so well.

"So the funeral is Thursday and we have a meeting with the priest tomorrow at 10 AM." Marissa's voice made him open his eyes again. She stood in front of him and looked at him. He reached out and pulled her down so she sat on his lab, raped his arms around her and held her close.

"I love you, Ryan Atwood" She said quietly and felt how he tightened his crib. After a while he loosened his crib again and pushed her a bit away so he could see her face. Those eyes, so full of love and loyalty. She lowered her head and kissed him. Raising his hand to support her head the kisses got more passionate. God, it was long time since they'd been alone!

"Oh my God, you leave the door open so your guests just goes in and then you scare them off by making out!" Seth's ramble broke them apart.

"Seth?" Marissa spoke in surprise

"Summer" Summer giggled and waved from the door.

"Well, now where we're introduced could we move on with the serious matters?" Seth said. Ryan let go of Marissa, who stood up, straightened her clothes, and looked at her friends still a bit confused by the sudden interruption.  
"What serious stuff?" Marissa questioned walking inside closely followed by the three others.

"Well, uhm, I don't know… like what you want us to do to help. I mean you got like a funeral to plan and a beaten up kid moving in." Summer shot Seth a serious look but then turned her attention to Marissa and Ryan.

"I think we almost got that figured out. We got a meeting with the priest tomorrow and Thursday's the actual funeral" Marissa looked over at Ryan who was pouring a cup of coffee. Why didn't he say anything?

"Okay, so where's Alison?" Summer looked around the kitchen as if Alison would be hiding somewhere.

"Sleeping" Ryan answered quickly

"Hey he speaks!" Seth exclaimed pointing at Ryan.

"So what you've done with her today – exchanged pouncing experiences? Or maybe you've been communication without speaking, seeing that's…"

"Cohen, stop talking." Summer sat down at the table next to Seth and Marissa handed her a cup of coffee with a thankful smile.

"We went to get her things." Ryan didn't feel like telling them about Alison's breakdown.

"so you went back to Chino. How was that?" Ryan was getting annoyed with Seth's continuing questions. He wanted to be alone with Marissa; he wanted to get to know Alison and right now all Seth's rambling and questions was just really getting on his nerves.

"Fine" Marissa took his hand as if she understood what he was thinking.

"Wow, you really drew a picture for me I feel like I was there."

"Cohen, I meant it, STOP TALKING!" Summer almost screamed, seeming to understand Ryan and Marissa needed some time alone, so she stood up pulling Seth up as well.

"We'll get the kids – if you want to have some time they can stay with us this afternoon." Summer said in a friendly tone. Marissa got up and gave her best friend a hug.

"Thanks. That would be great… we'll be over to pick them up before dinner"

"Good. I'll see you later. Bye Ryan" Summer looked Ryan into his eyes and saw gratefulness there, smiling she turned around heading for the door.

"uhm, ok. Uh see you later, man…" Seth said confused and followed Summer.

"Thank God Summer gets a hint!" Ryan looked up as Marissa returned to the kitchen.

"Yeah"

"So do you want to talk?" Marissa sat down next to him looking him into the eyes. Ryan lend over, kissed her and whispered, "we can talk later" Right now he didn't feel like going over and over the breakdown they'd witnessed. A smile spread across her face.

"so you want to take this upstairs?" she questioned in between kisses.

"Definitely!"

Alison woke up, looked around and remembered where she was but not how she got there. Her head pounded hard as she tried to sit up, but as nauseas come upon her she laid back again and closed her eyes. They'd been home to get her things. Slowly opening her eyes she looked to the side and found her bag standing there. Oh, now she remembered, they'd been on their way back when she suddenly had to throw up. Her memory slowly came back, how she'd been throwing up, crying but she still didn't remember what had happened. Closing her eyes she tried to search her memory but without any luck. The last thing she remembered was her fighting against Ryan's strong arms because her mind had played her a trick. Oh, God, they must think I'm nuts. She waited until the nauseas feeling had gone away again before she very slowly tried to sit up. She was still wearing the clothes she'd been puking in and even though she thought she'd managed to avoid throwing up on herself she now saw that it wasn't completely true.

It was just after lunchtime and Pete Greenfield, Sandy, Ryan and Marissa were sitting in around the kitchen table discussing the legal matters when Alison entered. She was leaning up against the wall and looked like she was going to faint any moment. Marissa who was sitting opposite of Ryan saw her first and quickly got up and walked over to her asking how she was feeling. Alison tried to smile and as "fine" escaped her lips.

"Oh, Alison. Good to see you again. We were just trying to get some of the paperwork done. Mrs. and Mrs. Atwood want to adopt you but they need you consent. The papers are almost ready so all you have to do is to sign." Pete hardly looked at the girl, who now, if possible, looked even paler.

"Don't worry about the papers you can sign them later…" Sandy quickly said seeing the girls pale face. Alison nodded all she wanted right now was to take a shower. She felt like she smelt of puck and it didn't help her nausea to go away.

"Come lets find you a towel and stuff so you can get a shower" Marissa said leading Alison out of the kitchen toward the bathroom. Sandy turned his gaze to Ryan whose worried eyes were still looking at the exit of the kitchen.

"Well, Pete; I guess that's all we can do until the papers are signed." Sandy said turning to Pete.

"Yes. Mr. Atwood you just send me the originals. It might be a good idea to keep a copy yourself." Pete stood up, shacked hand with the two men.

"So how are you doing kid?" Sandy asked as Ryan returned to the kitchen.

"Fine"

"Okay, you are the worst liar" when Ryan didn't say anything Sandy continued,

"So, how was Chino?"

"Chino was… Chino…" Ryan looked up and saw the determination in Sandy's eyes; he wasn't going to let him be that easy.

"It's like nothing ever change there. It's the same old houses, if you can even call them that. People struggling to make ends meet, drugs, beating, abuse, kids growing up too fast – just same old Chino." The honest and long statement from Ryan amazed Sandy. Even though Ryan had been in the family many years now there was still thing he'd never shared with them about his past, still wounds that hadn't healed. Sandy knew it, sometimes he saw something in Ryan's eyes, sometimes a comment indicating something from his past would slip but Ryan never elaborated it and if Sandy asked Ryan would shut down. This was the hardest part – when Ryan shut Sandy out, like he didn't trust him.

"She looked very pale" Sandy realized that he'd been quiet for a long time but Ryan didn't seem to notice, he was somewhere else.

"It's been a tough day," Ryan though about if he should tell Sandy about the car-ride home, but decided not to. Sandy was just about to speak again when Marissa entered.

"So I take it the papers are done?" Marissa walked over to the table and sat down.

"Yeah, Pete just left. All you have to do is send them to him once they're signed."

"Good." Awkward silences fill the kitchen. Sandy's mind was racing to find something to say, but it was Marissa that first broke the silence,

"So do you want some coffee?"

"That would be great! Thanks" Marissa just smiled at Sandy knowing he felt just as uncomfortable with the silence as she did. She never really understood if Ryan felt the same way or if he liked silence better than always talking.

"Here you go," she said while passing Sandy the cup.

"She's taking a shower?" Ryan looked at Marissa

"Yeah, I gave her some shampoo and some towels…" Ryan nodded.

"She got sick?" Marissa looked surprised at Sandy. How did he know?

"Yeah… uhm, that's why she was sleeping a bit…" Marissa again limited the information, something Marissa normally didn't do. Sandy saw the look Marissa gave Ryan, a look pleading him to tell something.

"So she didn't take the reunion with Chino so well?" Sandy looked from Marissa to Ryan and back to Marissa. He was determined to find out what was going on.

"Alison just got sick on the way back. It's no big deal" Ryan again trying to avoid it. Ryan didn't want to have other people judging Alison just because she's had some rough days.

"Sick? Ryan, come on we need to talk about this! She didn't just get sick, she got sick and forgot where she was and it was pretty clear that life haven't been kind on her and it's haunting her!" Marissa bluttered out.

"What do you expect? Her just moving in here? Forget everything? She hasn't even been here one day yet and her mom was just killed and she was beaten up! Of cause she'll react to it" During his speech Ryan stood up. Anger, sadness and aggression filled his voice and it overwhelmed Sandy and Marissa. They hadn't seen this Ryan in a long, long time. For the first time in years Ryan felt like getting his frustration through pouching something, but he managed to, well sort of keep his temper under control.

Alison heard some loud voices from the kitchen and walked closer. Maybe there were problems with the paperwork… with her. She didn't want to be a burden to anyone.

"Ryan, all I'm saying is that she might need some help… more than we can give her"

"Damn it Marissa, we don't know what have happened in her life. Give her a chance to get her feet to the ground before sending her to some kind of shrink!" Sandy kept totally quiet this was not his fight. In the corner of his eye he saw a movement. Turning his head he saw Alison, looking cleaner and a bit fresher than earlier.

Ryan saw Sandy turn his head and looked the same direction.

"Alison… uhm, how was your shower?" Sandy was the one asking. The girl looked like she was going to run away, but the question held her back. Marissa, now also aware of Alison's presence, could have bit her tong of for starting this discussion with Alison within hearing reach.

"Yeah it was fine" Alison tried to get control over her voice but it still shacked and sounded weird. The silence was so laud and for once Ryan found himself wishing Seth was there to mumble something, but everyone kept quiet not knowing what to say.

Say something! They were talking about you. Convince them you're not some lunatic who imagine thing and breakdown every day. But what do I say? Alison's mind raced ever second the silence lasted.

"I… I'm… I'm sorry about…. Earlier…" Alison stuttered and looked away. She could have kicked herself for not being able to say something connected. Marissa's eyes were fixed at the floor but Ryan looked directly at Alison and caught her gaze when she finally dared looking at them.

_Flashback_

"Alison. Dinners ready"

"be right there grandma" Alison ran down the short hall into the kitchen and quickly sat down in one of the chairs. She was visiting her grandmom for the weekend. They were laughing about something and out of the blue her grandmom said,

"You have your dads eyes. They too could tell everything with just a look"

_End of flashback_

Looking into Ryan's eyes Alison understood what her grandmom had meant. They said sorry, shined warmly, comforting and friendly and told her not to worry.

"I'm sorry Alison.. I, uh… I…." Marissa didn't know how to continue.

"I… I just didn't know… how to… react…" Marissa tried to explain again, but it didn't come out right and it certainly didn't sound convincing.

"No, I understand you must think I'm some kind of lunatic. I don't know what happened… why I reacted that way…. I … sorta knew where I was and yet it was like I was somewhere else…" How could she explain it? Her brain had told her to calm down, stop fighting, stop crying but something inside her, her survival instinct, which was way too well developed, told her that every time someone hugged her or just came close to her she should fight and run. Ryan slowly moved closer to her.

"When you've been hurt too many times you stop paying attention to your brain and just try to survive…" Ryan spoke quietly his eyes fixed at Alison but it wasn't her they saw. They were somewhere else. Ryan had his back to Marissa and Sandy so only Alison saw the journey he took back in time. His eyes going from calm and present to distant, afraid and hurt and as he slowly started to actually look at Alison they just looked sad and understanding. Alison was confused. It was like Ryan had just reviled something to her no one else could see, like he led her in on a secret and yet he only led her in on some of the feelings but non of the actual events.

Sandy and Marissa could only see the back of Ryan but they saw Alison take in something they couldn't understand what was. Marissa moved around so she could see his eyes but by she only saw sorrow and wondered where that came from. A part of her had always wanted to know what was going on in Ryan's mind sometimes when he was distant, what he saw, where he was and with whom but she never asked and he never told. Sometime she felt like she didn't really understand him, probably because she didn't have the necessary knowledge. This was one of those times. A wave of jealousy washed over her because she suddenly understood that he'd just led Alison in on some of his secret.

"All I was trying to say is that it might be a good idea to talk about it…" Marissa tried to break the eye contact between Ryan and Alison and succeed. Ryan shot Marissa a look telling her to drop the topic and Alison's eyes found the floor.

"I … I don't th…think I want to talk about…" Alison talked very slowly and didn't quiet finish the sentence.

"Wow, Marissa isn't that a new painting?" Sandy felt that it was time to change the topic and the thankful glance from Ryan told him he was correct. Marissa looked rather confused but got the hint.

"Yeah… it was the one I told you about yesterday." Continuing the talk about the picture Sandy grapped Marissa's arm and pulled her closer to the painting, leaving Ryan and Alison in the kitchen.

So this chapter is very close connected to the next one – origionally it was one but I thought it was very long for one chapter, so I split it up into two, so today 2 new chapters – yay!


	8. Chapter 8 My mom

**Chapter 8: My mom**

"So I know there's not long time till we're going to eat, but are you hungry... or maybe your thirsty?" Alison looked up again. The thought of food made her stomach do weird turns, but something to drink would be nice and it would only be polite to get something.

"Some water would be great" Ryan took action right away happy that she'd actually said something. After the rather awkward conversation he was afraid she'd be scared even to say yes or no. He poured a cup of coffee for himself.

"Lets drink it outside" he suggested and moved towards the door slowly, making sure she followed him. Stepping outside Alison took the first real look around. It didn't look like the "garden" Sandy and Kirsten had. Here there was actually grass and plants. The terrace was a half circle. Mid for the circle there was some stairs leading down to the grass area. A path paved with paving stones lead down to the huge pool, which was formed like a star. From the side of the grass area beds in triangles matching the pools were planted. Behind the garden there was a very small, almost invisible, path leading down to the beach and the ocean. Alison was speechless. Kirsten and Sandy's garden had been amazing but this was just… just the most beautiful view she'd ever seen.

Ryan was sitting in a chair observing Alison's face, as she took in every little detail, with amusement.

"So I take it that you like it?" Ryan's voice pulled Alison out of the trance she'd been in.

"It's… it…it's beautiful" She managed to get out and started to walk over to the table and sat down in a chair almost next to Ryan – she didn't want to turn her back on THAT view.

"I designed it… We bought the house and it pretty much looks the same – on the outside. I always wanted to design my own house, but it was already perfect, so we chose not to change too much one it. But the garden was horrible and Marissa and I always wanted a lawn... before everything was paved with stones." Ryan explained, Alison taking in everything.

"Lawns have to be mowed and taken care of... Eddie hated it when mom choose a house with a little lawn and refused to do anything out there, so it just grew wild" Ryan was surprised over her sudden a bit of information-speech.

"Did Theresa ever tell you about me?" the question was asked cautious and it took some time before Alison answered.

"Well, I knew Eddie wasn't my real dad… I mean, mom's got… had" Alison quickly corrected herself.

"brown eyes and Eddies eye are brown too… mine… not exactly brown…" She knew she didn't answer Ryan's question, but what was she suppose to say. _Yeah, I know you were the love of her life?_

"She told me a bit…some stories and that you were neighbour and then you moved…" Alison stopped, not wanting to revile too much. They sat in silence for a while before Ryan spoke again.

"She was my first real friend… one of the best I'll ever get…"Alison hadn't expected Ryan to start telling about his past – it seemed to be something he kept to himself.

"Did she tell you that I moved with her when she got pregnant?... she told me she had an abortion…"

"She never told me who my real dad was…" Alison said and though _and I never asked_.

Ryan though about that for some time, wondering if he should tell Alison some more about him… He wanted her to open up, but also knew that it was early in a relationship to expect anything. _She has probably been let down too many time to trust anybody this soon… I was…_ His thoughts went back to when he'd first arrived at the Cohen's. He would never tell them anything willingly. He remembered the dinner where Dawn had told them about the beating and how embarrassed he'd been. The first time he remembered telling the Cohen's about his past was at his first Christmukkah and he remembered Seth's surprise and confusion, Kirsten's search for something to say and Sandy's calm, understanding, reassuring comment. He remembered how embarrassed he felt after saying that and that he had to leave the room very quickly – had to get away, afraid to see pity in their eyes. Ryan would understand if Alison wasn't ready to talk yet, but he felt he had to try to get some information about her life… the 13 years he'd missed of it.

"What do you think they're talking about?" Marissa stood with her back to Sandy, watching the two people sitting in each their chain. She had just finished telling Sandy what had happened on the way back from Chino.

"How blue the ocean is?" Sandy suggested making Marissa smile and turn to face him.

"I was out of line saying she needed to see a shrink, weren't I?" Sandy looked down in the table, then back up meeting her eyes with a simple "yes".

"It was just so… intense. Sandy this sounds crazy but I felt jealous at her… I don't know why… maybe because she's Theresa's daughter…" Marissa looked deep into her coffee, knowing how stupid it was.

"Marissa, Ryan and Theresa was friends… he only went with her to Chino because of the baby, otherwise he wouldn't have returned the minute she told him about the abortion"

"I know, and I'm not doubting he love for me. It's just… his past have always been this big mystery… it's almost impossible to get anything out of his life before Newport… it's like there's this hole part of his life I don't know anything about!"

"You know what Kirsten once told me when I was mad at her because there was something I didn't know about her? She told me that there's no way you can know a person completely and that's what keeps it interesting." Sandy smiled remembering Kirsten's words. A little smile played on Marissa's lips, clearly she was remembering something as well and Sandy couldn't help but ask "what"

"I just remembered Ryan don't know much about me from before he moved to Newport" Sandy smiled, "there you see… God, I'm married to a smart woman!"

" Do you miss her?" The question seem strange of cause she would miss her mom, but Ryan hoped Alison would let out a bit more information on how Theresa had been as a mom. But the long silence after the question made him afraid that he'd pushed too hard too soon.

"She was my mom…" That was all Alison said. She wanted to say more but how could she explain?... she quickly looked at Ryan… _Will he understand? How do you explain how much she changed when grandmom died, when Autors was sent to jail, when Eddie was around, when she was drunk, when she was sick? How do you explain the sad smile that would role over her face when she was lost in thoughts?_ Alison didn't know and therefore kept quiet.

"She was my mom…" the sentence kept repeating itself over and over again in his head. It had been said with an emotionless voice and it had been impossible to see any emotion in Alison's eyes.

_Flashback_

"Cohen, stop it!" Summer giggled, but Seth just continued tickling her.

"Aw, you hit me!" Seth immediately stopped tickling Summer and pulled away.

"Well, son, I have to say you deserved that one" Sandy pointed at Seth with his fork.

"Thank you Mr. Cohen!" Summer said smiling at Sandy.

"Hey, he's suppose to be one my side. I'm his son"

"Yeah, but I'm beautiful" Summer argued

"And she definitely hits harder" Sandy added laughing.

It was the first evening they were all gathered during the winter break in their 3rd year of college. They'd ordered Thai-take-out and were eating in the den. Sandy and Kirsten was sitting in the couch, Seth and Summer were sharing – or at least trying to – a chair and Marissa and Ryan was sitting on the floor, Marissa leaning against Ryan, holding his hand. Christmukkah was just around the corner and Seth seemed – if possible – even more excited than ever before.

"Anybody wants some more?" Kirsten asked standing up, grapping one of the empty take-away boxes.

"No thanks Kirsten. It was great" Marissa leaned her head against Ryan's shoulder closing her eyes and added, "I'm so full"

"Yeah, I think you just got 10 kg heavier" Ryan said smiling.

"Oh, is that so?" Marissa opened her eyes, quickly turned around, folding her legs around him, rested her arms on his shoulders and smiled.

"So you like me plus 10?" she asked teasingly.

"Definitely" He held her closer and kissed her. Kirsten smiled at the scene. Those two seemed so happy and so in love. _And they're not the only one_ she thought looking at her other son who again was arguing with his girlfriend. Sandy soon followed Kirsten out into the kitchen, where he rapped his arms around her slim waits pulling her close into him. She grinned and turned to face him. They shared a passionately kiss.

"I was feeling lonely in there" Sandy said.

"But there's four young people in there, how could you possible feel lonely?" Sandy smiled, grapped her hand and pulled her out so she could see the youth.

"Oh, you mean you were the only one not kissing anyone?" Kirsten walked back to the kitchen starting to clean a bit up.

"Yeah" Sandy brushed away her hair and started to kiss her neck.

"Guys, cut it off at least while your son's present!" Seth entered the kitchen followed by Summer.

"Oh, so you're the only one allowed to stop you tong down you girlfriends mouth?" Sandy gave a little laugh seeing Seths face and hearing the "Ew" escaping Summer. "Is Ryan and Marissa not coming?" Kirsten asked getting the ice cream out of the freezer.

"Uhm, no they're otherwise engaged" Seth said making a sign for Sandy and Kirsten to some and see.

"Wow, you two keep you clothes on!" Marissa and Ryan suddenly realized the four people looking at them and broke apart, heavily breathing. Marissa stood up and straightened her clothes out, while turning deep red in her face. Ryan sat still for some seconds; embarrassed they'd forgotten where they were. Laughter filled the room and only Kirsten heard the phone ring. She went over, picked it up with a "Kirsten Cohen" and walked into the hall.

"Kirsten? Hey it's Trey"

"Uh, hi" Kirsten was confused. She hadn't been prepared for Trey calling.

"Uh, listen I know Ryan probably wont talk to me… it's ok… just tell him… just tell him that mom died…okay?" Kirsten was choked.

"Kirsten, you there?"

"Yeah, Yes I'm here" She managed to get out

"The funeral is going to be Monday at 11 AM… Ryan'll knows the church…"

"O… okay, I'll tell him"

"Thanks bye" Trey said ending the conversation almost hanging up when he heard

"Wait Trey" Kirsten heard a quiet "Yeah" in the other end.

"How did she die?"

"She was drunk… went driving…drove into another car…" Kirsten sat down on one of the stairs leading down from the 1st floor.

"anybody else hurt?"

"yeah… a 4 year old boy was killed" Trey hesitated, but decided not to tell more.

"If you need anything… money or… anything just call, okay?" Kirsten said.

"Will do"

"Trey?"

"Yeah"

"I'm sorry"

"Thanks… bye." Kirsten put down the phone, pressed the end-call button and walk back into the kitchen. They all stopped laughing when they saw Kirsten's pale face.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Sandy walked over to her. Kirsten took a deep breath, walked passed Sandy and over to Ryan.

"It was Trey" she closely watched Ryan's face going from concerned to confused.

"Your mom…." She cleared her thought "was in a car accident... she's dead" Ryan's face got emotionless, his eyes seeked the floor.

"Anybody else hurt?" Kirsten was surprised by the question and didn't know what to answer and Ryan continued

"I mean, she was drunk-driving, right?" Kirsten just nodded, tears filling her eyes. Her thoughts travelled back to her own car accident where she was almost killed… she'd been drunk; it could have been her causing a 4-year old boys death.

"s…she killed a …." More tears ran down Kirsten's face as her eyes meet Ryan's.

"4-year old boy…" Ryan didn't moved; his face expression stayed the same – impossible to read. No one moved, spoke or blinked for a second. Ryan looked around and realized that they all looked at him.

"So when's the funeral?" He asked, mostly just to say something. He hated the undivided attention. He didn't feel sorrow because Dawn was dead, he felt sorry for the family who'd lost the boy. All he could think was that she ones again had accompliced to mess up peoples life and this time totally strangers.

"Monday, 11 A.M… Trey said you'd know where" Ryan nodded.

"Hey are you okay?" Marissa reached out and toughed Ryan's arm, knowing her question was totally weird and maybe even out of place. When Ryan didn't answer Seth added,

"Dude, it's totally understandable if you're freaked out…I mean, she was you mom…" It was like life returned to Ryan's eyes as he looked Seth in the eyes, slowly he turned his gaze to Kirsten who still stood in front of him with red puffy eyes.

"She was Dawn" Ryan whispered, afraid to say it too laud, afraid someone might correct him. Truth to be told he'd stopped think about Dawn as his mom long time ago if he'd ever thought about her as his mom. Ryan wasn't sure anymore. He felt two arms embracing him.

"Thank you, son" Kirsten whispered into his ear and a wave of happiness filled her when she felt Ryan returning her hug.

_End of flashback_

What is he thinking of? Alison thought while she watched Ryan. He was clearly remembering something. His eyes had been distant for some time now, his face expressing different emotions. Alison saw a little smile cross his face and couldn't hold back any longer… maybe he was getting sick or didn't want her there…

"Are you okay?" Ryan almost jumped at the sound of Alison's voice

"Yeah, sorry, I…I was just remembering something…" The smile grew wider as Ryan though about what he'd just said… he sounded like he was 102 years old or something!

"Hey you two" Marissa said from the door, warning them that she was coming. They both turned around and faced her.

"I'll just go over and pick up the boys… why don't you order some food?" Ryan looked from Marissa to Alison and back to Marissa

"Sure… is Sandy still here?"

" No he left a while ago" Marissa smiled to Ryan and turned around to leave but stopped and slowly faced Alison

"I'm sorry about earlier… I know a lot is going on right now in your life and I… don't know why I said those things. Can you forgive me?" Alison never had an adult asking for her forgiveness before and found herself saying, "Already forgotten" with a little smile. She was overwhelmed but couldn't help but feel that life here would be very different than before – and hopefully for the better.

Leave reviews pretty please!


	9. Chapter 9 Shopping

So here's a new chapter. I still don't own any of the OC.

I'm right now looking through the 10th chapter, so it should be up soon as well!

A huge thanks to kursk! Thank you for always reviewing, You don't know how much it means to me to hear what you think about the story, so please continue!

Hope you enjoy!

**Chapter 9: Shopping**

Thursday came quickly. The meeting with the priest had been awkward but was quickly over. Alison hadn't said much and Ryan never really talked a lot, so Marissa had to do the talking, which made the situation even weirder. Of the people in the room Marissa wasn't exactly the one who knew Theresa the best. Even the priest seemed relived when the three people in front of him got up to leave. After that Marissa and Alison dropped of Ryan at the Newport group, since Marissa had insisted on Alison getting some new clothes, there was no reason why shouldn't Ryan go to work for a couple of hours.

"Have fun" Ryan gave Marissa a quick kiss and waved to Alison, who was sitting in the back of the car. Alison gave him a half smile and looked up at the big building. Marissa started the car again and turned the radio on at low volume, so if Alison should feel an urge to talk they would be able to, but Marissa had the feeling that Alison was just as, if not more, quiet as her father. And as Marissa had predicted the ride took place in silence, only the radio breaking it quietly.

"And here we are" Marissa said pulling into the parking house of south coast plaza. Marissa tried to imagine Alison's taste in clothes, but she had so little to guess out from, so in the beginning she just took her to the stores she normally found nice, then she would go after Alison and see what clothes Alison would take.

Alison walked past the racks of clothes, sometimes taking something out but she would quickly put in back again when she saw the price tags.

"Nothing in here for you?" Marissa questioned when they started to walk towards the exit. Alison shaked her head, even though there was plenty of clothes she would love to wear but it was way to expensive. In the second store Marissa again walked behind Alison but this time she took out the clothes she though might fit and fall into Alison's taste. Alison had already started to walk towards the exit when Marissa stopped her.

"I just walked around picking out some clothes you might like, so why don't you try it on..." Marissa showed the pile of clothes to Alison, directed her towards the fitting rooms and hang the clothes in there.

"Just try it on and show me if there's any of it you like" Marissa smiled as she closed the curtains leaving Alison alone.

_God look at me!_ Alison's though looking into the mirror as she stood there wearing clothes more expensive than all her belongings total value. She looked at the stranger in the mirror. She only recognised herself from her neck and up, the dark hair, the blue eyes surrounded by the blue/black marks, the blue/yellow one on the jaw and the little rift near her left ear. Her fingers ran over the bruises, felt the warmth of the them. Standing there she felt so little, alone and torn in two. _Pull yourself together! Marissa is outside; she already think you're a lunatic, prove her wrong! _

"Alison?" Marissa had been waiting for some time and had started to worry a bit.

"Alison? Are you still there?" Alison quickly opened the curtains to show Marissa that the clothes fitted well. Marissa saw a few tears run down Alison's face and it worried her.

"So what do you think?" Alison asked. It was the first time she had spoken that day and Marissa couldn't bring herself to ask Alison what was wrong, it couldn't be the clothes because that fitted perfectly, so she just smiled and said,

"You look great!" A quick smile flew over Alison's face and her hands stroked down the soft fabric, as if she was making sure it was still there. Marissa pointed at the rest of the clothes

"What about that?"

"Didn't fit…" It wasn't true, but Alison didn't like it. Marissa knew that wasn't the truth, but she just smiled and said,

"Yeah, I didn't like it either" Alison looked down embarrassed Marissa had caught her lying, but the smile on Marissa's face wasn't angry it was…warm?

"Come on. Let's buy that and go and get something to eat" Marissa said.

"Well, that was at least one pair of clothes" Marissa said cheerful as the left the shop to find a place to eat. Alison's suddenly flew up.

"How many do I need?" Marissa laughed of the question; Alison's voice had been a mix of surprise, wondering and curiosity.

"You're going to need at least three new pair of jeans, some new tops and blouses. We might also have to look for a more formal dress, since we are attending quite a few formal events or parties…" Marissa didn't know if she should add that Alison also needed clothes for the funereal tomorrow.

"...and something for the funereal?" Is was as if Alison had read Marissa's mind, but Marissa wasn't surprise and she just nodded, yes, she needed something for the funereal.

"Let's go in here" Marissa walked into the café to the right of them and Alison followed.

"So, what do you think of Newport?" Marissa asked once they had found a place to site and ordered their food. Alison stayed quiet for some time leaving Marissa to wonder if she was even going to answer.

"I…I like it I guess…" Alison stuttered she had been unprepared for that question.

"Fancy living here?" Marissa saw how she'd caught Alison by surprise but couldn't help but ask anyway.

"I… yeah… It's just…" Alison wanted to explain but didn't know how to. The girl in front of Marissa altered posture quickly going from surprised to confused to alerted. Alison felt the importance of the question. She had only been living with Ryan and Marissa for one day and she didn't doubt that this was her chance to avoid foster care and above all Chino.

"It's a lot…" Alison lifted her eyebrows quickly while saying a lot, then looked at the table. It was all she could get out and she feared that Marissa would send her away, to foster care, to a shrink, to…

"Alison, don't ever worry about us sending you away or… stuff like that. You are Ryan's daughter and that makes you a part of this family. Neither Ryan nor I would ever give up on a family member!..." Marissa said, saw Alison relax again, smiled and added, "beside my mom". Alison didn't quite follow the last part since she hadn't meat Julie yet. Marissa laughed at Alison's confused face.

"My mom is still a part of the family despite all the things she's done to us especially to Ryan! We've given up on her ever getting better, so now we just take our precautions…" Alison couldn't believe that Marissa's mom could be as bad as Marissa indicated.

"..but she's family – always was, always will be, so we learned to deal with her…." Marissa suddenly understood what she'd said and tried to save it

"I don't mean that you're like my mom… I was… I…"

"I don't need people to take precautions or learn how to deal with my whatever you were going to say" Marissa saw the hurt in Alison's eyes and didn't know how to save her unfortunate comment but tried again.

"Listen Alison, I didn't mean that you were like my mom! My mom's done some really bad things and for wrong reasons…"

"but maybe it was for the right reasons, she just choose the wrong solutions" Alison interrupted Marissa and Marissa got the feeling Alison wasn't just defending Julie.

"You're right a long way in that. My mom always wanted to protect me and my sister from getting hurt and from being poor, but that doesn't justify some of the actions she's taken throughout time!" Alison was about to object again, but Marissa was faster.

"She divorced my dad because he lost all our money, tried to send me to a institution for people who aren't mentally stable after I od'ed, which she by the way blamed Ryan for… I don't know what she was thinking! That he stopped the pills into my mouth? Anyway then she started dating Kirsten's dad because of his money whilst having an affair with MY ex… this is just a FEW of all the things she's done and not even the worst once!" Marissa finished not wanting to tell her entire lifestory right there and then.

"Wow, I though my mom was…" Alison started but looked up and noticed Marissa was actually listening.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to…."

"It's okay… you'll probably understand when you meat my mom – the famous and feared Julie Cooper-Nichole!" Marissa said with a smile happy to see the hurt look in Alison's eyes was gone.

"Here you go. A coffee and a chicken-bacon sandwich and a cola and egg-bacon sandwich. Enjoy." The waiter placed the food and drinks on the table.

"Thank you" Marissa said with a polite smile. As they started to eat Marissa desperately tried to find something new to talk about.

"So Alison what do you like to do?" Alison looked confused up from her food.

"I mean do you have any hobbies?" Marissa's only answer was a slightly hesitating shake of her head.

"So what do you do, besides going to school?" Marissa was determined to get some words out of Alison.

"I…uhm, work as a cleaner and in a supermarket…" Alison hated that she didn't say anymore and she knew Marissa was trying hard to have a conversation, but Alison had never been use to conversations.

"Oh, that's nice but aren't you very young to be working so much?" Alison examined Marissa's face carefully. Was she joking? Marissa's face stayed serious and the though that Marissa really didn't know much about life in Chino hit Alison.

"Oh, it's pretty normal to start having an easy job when you're around 11" Marissa looked surprised and a bit choked.

"What about Theresa didn't she work too?"

"She's… was sick" Alison said and Marissa felt how the girl shut down clearly signalling that she didn't want to talk about it. Marissa knew the signal and the tune of the "I-don't-what-to-talk-about-it" and she was fed up with it. She was so tired of Ryan's shutting down when she asked about his past. She knew she was letting Alison pay but she couldn't help but continue asking.

"What about Eddie?" Alison had looking down in the table but quickly sent Marissa a warning look before she again looked down at her food; not knowing what to answer, not wanting to talk about Chino, Eddie or her mom. Marissa understood the look "don't go there" but she didn't understand the reason why Alison gave her that look and she didn't understand why Ryan gave her that look. _You gotta get out of here before you do something stupid!_

"Excuse me" Marissa said, grapping her bag and suddenly stood up and left for the toilet leaving a confused Alison.

"Sum?" Marissa said desperately when Summer picked up the phone.

"Coop? Is everything ok?"

"yeah, or no… I'm out shopping with Alison and I'm afraid I'm letting some of my frustration going out on her… could you..."

"Well it just happens that I love shopping, so why don't you tell me where you are and I'll come?" Marissa was calmer as she returned to Alison who still looked confused.

"Sorry" Marissa said sitting down and started to eat again.

"You're okay?" Marissa gave Alison a bright smile.

"Yeah, I'm just being silly… I'm sorry about me pushing you before…"

"It's okay" Alison said looking down. Marissa tolerated the silence only because she knew Summer was on her way.

"Coop, you're here and you didn't even invite me" Summer half shouted as she made her way over to her best friend.

"Sum, good to see you" Marissa stood up and gave Summer a hug and Summer didn't doubt Marissa had been freaking out.

"Hi Alison" Summer said warm to Alison shaking her hand.

"Hi" Alison said shyly back.

"So you already ate?" Marissa said motioning her hand toward the empty chair next to Alison.

"Yeah, But I'll sit down anyway" Summer sat down in the chair next to Alison, "so what are you two doing here?" Marissa waited to see if Alison was going to answer but when Alison didn't, she told Summer they were out to find some clothes for Alison.

"I love shopping! I'll join you" Summer more concluded than asked and smiled to Marissa.

"Coop could you drop me off at the shop? I have a bit of work to do before picking up the kids" It was two hours and a lot of plastic bags filled with clothes later and Summer spoke while getting into the car.

"Sure" It had not taken Alison long time to figure out that Marissa had called Summer and asked her to come, even though Marissa and Summer had tried to pretend it was just coincidence. Why would Summer suddenly have left work, not even in her own car but in a taxi, so she didn't have to go and get her car? Alison didn't listen to the conversation anymore. She was to tired and her headache had grown worse and worse but she didn't say anything. Marissa and Summer had been so enthusiastic about the shopping and they had really tried to do everything to make Alison feel comfortable.

"Here you are" Marissa said pulling into the side in front of another mall.

"I'll see you two later. It was fun we have to do that another time" Summer said smiling and looking from Marissa to Alison and back.

"Yeah, we definitely should! See you Sum…and thank you" Marissa and Summer quickly hugged before Summer got out of the car.

"Oh, Sum you're picking up the kids right?"

"Yeah" Summer said before closing the door. Marissa started driving while dialling Ryan's number.

"Ryan Atwood"

"Hey, it's me"

"Everything's okay?" Marissa smiled at the sound of Ryan a bit concerned voice.

"Yeah everything's fine. We're on our way back, do you want a lift?" It took a few seconds before Ryan answered.

"That'd be fine, yeah… I'll go outside now, just finished some paperwork, the rest can wait."

"See you soon then"

"Bye"

that's it for now. Hope you enjoyed and PLEASE take the 1 min it takes to leave a review!


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